Monday

Excerpt from a journal in January 2020.

Ahhh… Its finally Monday. That probably sounds funny to most of the world right now. For most people Monday is the beginning of another five-day stretch of work or school, but for me, its my day off, and thank God it is; it’s been a long week.
Today, I decided to switch all of my devices to airplane mode and not plan anything! Not an easy thing for me generally, but recently I feel as though I’ve been craving some sort of silence; a need to just be still. So far it feels great!
Im sitting here, in Kiosk No1, sipping on a cup of Ethiopian black coffee, watching the busy world go by outside. But this morning I feel so detached from it all. The stark contrast of the busy street and the quiet cubicle of a coffee shop, makes the peacefulness of God’s presence seem all the more tangible.

Thinking about the past weeks makes me feel as though I haven’t stopped since Christmas. Between traveling, Nutcracker season, guests, etc, I just haven’t had a moment to stop or at least fall back into a normal rhythm yet.
Yesterday we had two performances of Nutcracker. I was dreading it from the moment I woke up- which is very much not the norm for me. But in God’s sweet kindness, I had so many encouragements through the whole day! It was almost comical. All of my friends decided to be extra amazing all at the same time, haha. For example, When I arrived at work that morning, there was a cappuccino with oat-milk waiting for me on my desk from one friend, and right next to it was a slice of banana bread from another. That is quite an amazing way to start the day, if you ask me. I was so touched by these seemingly random acts of kindness from these sweet girls.
That was followed by a really great class, which at the end of an exhausting week, I would almost count as a miracle, haha. However, to my own credit unfortunately, I didnt pace myself or cool down properly, which meant that when I sat down to do hair and make up for the performance for that morning, my muscle cool down way too fast and turn into lead. When I stood up, I thought to myself, “oh great…”.
Needless to say, that show wasn’t particularly amazing. It wasn’t horrible, but it was enough to bring my mood pretty down. Its crazy how one little mistake can make you feel like such a failure, inadequate, or not worthy of your place. After the show, our boss came back stage and told the girls to really fight for our turns. I knew he was talking to me.
So, back in the changing room I rested for a bit and to try to muster up some more strength before the next performance. As I sat and ate lunch I got messages from two friends of mine whom I hadn’t talked to in quite awhile. They were both “randomly” checking in on me to see how I was doing. The kindness in those messages was just what my heart needed to hear. They couldn’t have been more encouraging or more timely.
After I finished lunch, I decided to run a couple errands, as I had a bit of time before our next show. While I was out, I developed a little sweet tooth So, I popped my head into one of my favorite cafes, and not only did they have cookies on sale, but they had my favorite peanut butter cookie, which I had been craving, on sale! Haha… of course they did.

Finally, back at work, that evening I had an amazing second show! I killed those turns and danced with so much joy, energy and strength!

“It turned out to be such a beautiful day”, I thought sipping the last of my coffee back in my cozy cafe. In the midst of exhaustion, in the midst of life’s little discouragements, God saw me, and filled my day with so many sweet blessings. Some might write it off to coincidence, but I believe God wants to be apart of our everyday lives. He sees and loves and is active in small moments and big.
As I continued to sit and read my Bible I was reminded of a verse in the gospel of Luke. It says,
“But Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart.” – Luke 2:19. This was written after all the events that followed Jesus birth.
The events in my life are not on the same scale of grandeur or impactfulness as the birth of Jesus, but I think there is an art to reflection, to rememberance, and to acknowledgement. Its part of building our lives. Each recognition of God’s goodness, each reflection on His faithfulness moves me to build my life more confidently on Him, to lay one more stone on this house I call my life. As I take a step back and remember these beautiful moments it encourages me to push on, to move forward into each day, even the hard ones. You know, cement doesn’t look like much, but it certainly can hold together all the bricks that build our life. Some days are exciting, some days are for laying the cement for those awesome days, but each part of the building project is important. And some days are rest days, where you take a few steps back, you stop, you look at all you’ve built, you remember why you’re doing it in the first place. I think I need to do this more often…
I’m going to try to make my days off more intentional; dedicate more time to this art of “treasuring and pondering things in my heart” and more dedicated to knowing God. Time spent with God is never a waste as long as its followed by action, with life.
So, I’m excited to grow, expecting to fail along the way, but through all of it live in the grace that I’m a work-in-progress that is seen and loved by a beautiful, powerful God.