Soul Food

Banana Bread Oatmeal

I love oatmeal. Sometimes I go through periods when I think I could have it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and…dessert. No joke, I have had oatmeal for dessert!

But how can you make such a bland-tasting grain into a dessert-worthy food? Im glad you asked!

You need to think of oats as a blank canvas for your imagination and cravings to spill out on.

There are so many directions you can go with this incredible grain, but today I’m going to give you the basics; my breakfast staple.

You will need…

1 cup milk of choice
1/4 tsp vanilla (opt)
1 banana (preferably very ripe)
1/2 cup oats
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Toppings! (Opt)

First step,

Measure out your milk into a small pot or saucepan. I normally use almond milk or oat milk for this version. Place on high to bring to a boil. (If you are using vanilla, now is the time to put it in.)
As a rule of thumb, the ratio for oats to milk 1:2.

Next, mash up a nice ripe banana! Remember the more ripe the banana is the sweeter it will be.
Also, a little local’s side note, if you’re in search for overly ripe bananas, check the Bio Market. Often they have disgustingly perfect over ripe bananas for half price, at least in Tallinn. 🙂

Whisk the banana into the hot milk and wait for it to come to a boil.

While you’re waiting for the milk and banana mix to come to a boil, measure out your oats and cinnamon.

Next, dump the oats and cinnamon into the milk, and turn the heat off. Mix frequently so the oats don’t stick to the bottom of the pan. How long you let it cook is actually up to you and what kind of oats you have. I get quick-oats that technically only need to be cooked for four minutes, but I tend to prefer thicker oatmeal, so I let it cook for a little longer.

Ta-da! Your perfect bowl of oatmeal! But why stop there when you can have toppings!?!

There we go, that’s better! Feel free to be creative with it! Nuts, berries, seeds, butters. Here I have flax seeds, chia seeds and a big tablespoon of my home-made Peanut Butter.

And of course the last step is always the best, EAT!

Banana Bread Oatmeal

Serves: 1 bowl

Ingredients:
1 c milk
1/4 tsp vanilla (opt)
1 banana (any will work, but the riper the better)
1/2 c oats
1/2 tsp cinnamon 
Toppings (opt): seeds, nuts, berries, dried fruit, peanut butter, almond butter, chocolate chips, jam... 

Directions:
1. Bring milk to boil. Set temperature on high. (Check notes)
2. Mash banana then add to milk and whisk.
3. While waiting for the milk to come to a boil measure out your oats and cinnamon.
4. Once the milk is boiling, stir in oats and cinnamon and turn off heat.
5. Keep cooking until oats are soft and it has reached your desired consistency. Stir frequently to keep oats from sticking to the bottom of the pan.
6. Add toppings and enjoy!

Note: The temperature of the stove will vary depending on what stove you have. I have an old electric stove. So the plates take awhile to heat up, and then they stay warm for awhile after I turn them off, which is why I can turn off the heat but keep cooking the oats. If you have a gas stove you may want to set it on medium-high, then turn the flame to low after adding the oats.

And now, with a full tummy and happy heart I wish you the most wonderful day!

Pain, patience and sacrifice are not exactly my favorite things in life. But not long ago I used to get a little excited when things were a bit tough. Whether work wasnt going well, or someone hurt me or emotionally I was all over the place, I had a sense of anticipation for something great. Was it fun? Absolutely not. Was it enjoyable? Oh no. Did I sometimes hate it and wish it would end? Yes. But I had this unshakeable hope that I was going to learn something beautiful or life altering. I was going to grow more into the person I was made to be.

Now, before I get misunderstood, let me clarify that God does not enjoying seeing us suffer, He didn’t create us to suffer. In fact, it grieves His heart more than we could ever know. But the reality is we live in a broken world, so what is He to do? Remove all brokeness? But that would mean removing us. Because, lets be real. We are all broken and we all break things. So instead, He redeems. He changes the story- “What was intended for evil will be used for good,”. “He has made everything beautiful in its time..” And He heals. Surgery is not a pain-free process, and the rehab can take a long time, but its far better than remaining broken. Both things can be uncomfortable. Both things can take time. But both will end in victory and in life.

Somedays it can feel so unfair though! A friend betrays you, you are insulted at work, abused by people with power, maybe even physically hurt. I remember it blew my mind the first time I realized that Jesus knows exactly how I feel. Jesus was exposed to some of the most horrific pain, injustice and heartache that comes from living in this world. All He did was good. But He was killed by the people He helped, abused by those in power, and abandoned by His friends. When I cry out “why?” Its an encouragement to know that He both knows the feeling and He knows the answer.

Why did He do it though? Just to be sympathetic? I believe it’s so He could change the story- our story. No longer would death and pain have the final say. He knew He’d walk out of that grave. And now because of that, we can too. Both here on earth, we can experience redemption and watch our dead bones come alive, but also in life after death. And along with that, I think, its so we never have to walk alone. In sects of Christianity and in Judaism the priest’s role is to be the middle man between God and humans. In this passage it says that God came down in the flesh- Jesus- to involve Himself in human suffering and walk in our shoes and then provide a way out. Whether you believe in God or not you gotta admit that its kinda a cool concept!

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:15-16

Suffering will come, it may even be neccessary to get us to where we need to be. But we dont need to fear it, because God can make beauty from ashes. We are far from hopeless. Even self inflicted pain, even our own mistakes, if given to God, can be exchanged for beauty and redemption. I guess that what Jesus meant when He said…

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

The last thing I want to do is over simplify suffering or pretend that the topic of suffering is explainable in a 5 minute read. It’s not. Its deep, its tough, it has many fassets, and many layers. But this I know. Im not alone in it. God knows how I feel, and feels it with me. He is not stand off-ish, but hands on and heart in. And suffering no longer has to have the victory over my life, because in His nail pierced hands there is healing and redemption.

Peanut Butter

So, if you read my bio, you know that I love peanut butter! I think I got it from my Papa. He loves it and, as a good father should, he introduced this magical spread to us from a young age. We even used to make this toast with peanut butter, cinnamon, and sugar and call it “Papa Bread”. However, when we first moved to Cyprus, the island didn’t have peanut butter! Tragic, I know. People would bring it to us from overseas like some treasure from a far away land.

I remember once, we were visiting the US, when Papa bought two giant tubs of Skippy Peanut Butter (his fave at the time) to take back to Cyprus. However, when he packed them, he put them in our carry-on instead of our check-in bag. Turns out peanut butter classifies as a liquid; long story short, they didn’t make it past security. I’ll never forget him desperately trying to explain Cyprus’ peanut butter predicament to the security guard. And when the heartless security guard wouldn’t budge, papa asked the security guard to take it home for himself, so not to waste. But no, he tossed both tubs into the trash right before our very eyes. I told you- heartless. It was like throwing away gold!

But now, all of that has changed thanks to the amazing food processor! And I am here to spill the secrets on how to make your own peanut butter so that your pantry and your stomach will never be wanting.

This is basically it, peanuts + oven + food processor = peanut butter!

Just incase you don’t believe that it could be that simple, I’ll break it down a bit more.

First, preheat oven to 200’ C (392’F)

First you will need 300g of peanuts (2 cups) or however much you want. You can use whatever kind of peanuts you like. I think for the optimal experience I’d use peanuts that are already salted and roasted. But you can use raw peanuts, only salted peanuts, or you can toss some salt on them yourself, before putting them in the oven. Up to your preference and taste buds.

Once the oven is hot enough, pop them in for 5-7 min, or until they are just starting to brown or glisten. This step is necessary to release the natural oils that are packed inside the nuts. And the oils are essential to transforming the nuts into butter! Also, then you won’t have to add any extra oil in the processing part!

Let them cool for a minute or two before putting them in the blender. Then pop the lid on, turn on high, and blend away. At this point noise canceling headphones and some nice tunes come in handy as its very loud. 😉

(Feel free to stop to scrape down the sides at anytime. Definitely don’t want to waste any precious crumbs.)

Magic! The time will depend on your processor, but it should take about 10 minutes. If you really want the extra silkiness, you can add some neutral- flavoured oil, 1 tsp at a time. But I often find that if you have a good machine and process it a few extra minutes, its perfect.

Use it in oatmeal, muffins, curry or as a spread on bagels… wait what, bagels?! Have you checked my bagel recipe? You should.

P.S. Cyprus now sells peanut butter, but my Papa makes his own, because he’s cool and knows whats good.

Ingredients:
Peanuts

Tools:
Food processor

Directions:
1. Heat oven to 200’C (392’ F)
2. Roast peanuts on baking sheet for 5-7 min.
3. Let cool for a couple of minutes.
4. Process on high until creamy.
5. Add any extra oil if so desired.

Beautifully Broken

28.9.18

“If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person.”

1 John 3:17

I remember once, walking through the center of town in Tallinn. It was a beautiful day. The sun was just starting to lower, painting the city in a gentle golden hue. I took deep breaths trying to soak in the peaceful Tuesday atmosphere. Its was around six o’clock. Everyone was leaving work to go home to their families, kids were rushing to catch the buses after their afternoon classes. It was a simple day that suited the word “lovely” just perfectly. It was one of those moments that makes you feel so grateful for all the little, beautiful normalcies in life: family, friends, work, food, a place or places to call home. My little world seemed sweet and perfect.

But suddenly a horrible noise sliced through my thoughts like a knife. It was the sound of coughing, if you could call it that… I turned around to see where it was coming, and there sat a man on the ground surrounded by bundles of trash he would probably call his home. His filthy clothes clung to his battered skin; his face contorted with years of abuse. But, what broke me was when I noticed the pile of cigaret butts that laid in front of him. I want to say that there was at least a hundred, but maybe my mind is exaggerating. They all seemed fresh. And as he sat there in his burning heap of half smoked cigarettes, hacking his lungs out, he raised another cigarette to his mouth, shaking and almost convulsing, in some desperate attempt to ease his pain, and bring some degree of peace to his broken state.

I was paralyzed. I felt like I couldn’t move. My eyes welled up with tears and my throat tightened.

“Hey!” Was the greeting of my friend as he turned the corner and almost ran into me. I scrambled to collect myself and try to step back into the “normal” world again. “Hi” I reply coughing to clear my throat.

As we walked together and I tried to refocus my thoughts, but the picture of that man, surrounded by so much pain, heartache, anxiety, and sickness would not be shaken from my mind. He sat there, I stood there, the world went by as normal, and we both felt so helpless. How could I help? I’m just me. It could be dangerous. But he’s practically dying. Maybe he just needed some water. Maybe some food and someone to smile at him. Is it wise to do it alone? But I can’t help everyone. So who do I help? He probably made so many bad choices in his life to get him there in the first place. But would he have made them if he knew how much he was loved? So many thoughts flooded my head. So many questions. And to be honest, I don’t know all the answers. But one thing I do know, God’s heart is that we would be open to help and serve anyone that He puts in our path.

Growing up with my parents I learned so much about what “giving” means. We were never rich, but that never stopped them from inviting people to live with us, whether it be a family who needs rest, a guy right out of prison, college students volunteering at the church or recovering alcoholics- or everyone at the same time, haha. Not to mention my friends who lived with us most weekends. Our house was always full of fun, colorful people of all different kinds of backgrounds! They opened their doors, gave of their time and resources and made everyone feel loved and at home. Honestly looking back I don’t know how God provided it all! But He is so faithful to take care of all the needs of the “cheerful givers”.

Its definitely a different set up when you’re in a family situation. And I’m not about to start inviting ex-convicts to live with me, but I definitely want to have the same heart in my personal situation. I don’t want to fall in sync with the rest of the world and spend my days walking by people without hope when I have so much! How can I be stingy with my things, my time when I myself have been so blessed by others? I want to honor God in all I have, in all He’s given me.

Jesus wasn’t afraid of the dirty, the homeless, the sick, the broken. When He came to earth, that was essentially God rolling up his sleeves to get His holy hands dirty from the messiness of our lives; to have them pierced, so we could have the hope of Heaven and proof of His love. He came to walk through the trenches of life with us, to feel our pain and to share our joy. His love for people was bigger than any of their messes, mine included.

I want to be more like that. I want God’s love to be in me. I’ve seen a lot of homeless, a lot of broken people; I’m not sure why this man stood out to me so much in that moment. But I’ll always be grateful for the way it popped my bubble and broke my heart and reminded of God’s love and my responsibility to live it out.

“Freely you have received, freely give.” (Matthew 10:8)

Vegan Chocolate Chip Banana Bread Muffins

If you read my last post ( https://soulfoods.food.blog/2020/09/21/monday/ ) you know that a friend brought a lot of joy to my day in the form of banana bread. So, I thought it would be vital for me to kick off the recipe section of my blog with just that, banana bread goodness, with the added bonus of chocolate, because, well chocolate!

So, with that being said lets dive right in.

First step, ingredients.

⁃ 1 1/4 c (150g) flour

⁃ 1/2 c (50g) cocao powder

⁃ 1 tsp baking soda

⁃ 1/2 tsp baking powder

⁃ 1/2 tsp salt

⁃ 1 c soft brown sugar

⁃ 1/3 c (65g) solid coconut oil (melt before use)

⁃ 2 big ripe bananas or 3 small ones

⁃ 1 tsp vanilla

⁃ 1 tsp apple cider vinegar

⁃ 3/8 c (100ml) water

⁃ 1 cup of chocolate chips (or one big bar)

After you’ve gathered all your ingredients together preheat your oven to 176’C or 350’F.

Add all your dry ingredients together: flour, cocao powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.

Next the juicy stuff! Add your brown sugar, melted coconut oil, mashed bananas, vanilla, vinegar and water together. (Fun fact: when I was a kid, I couldn’t stand the smell or sound of mashed bananas even though it was my favourite dessert growing up, haha. It still makes me a bit queezy, but I perservere for the greater good of a happy tummy.)

I think the whisk is the magic wand of baking. “Now you put them together and what have you got Bibbidi-bobbidi- Banana Bread!” (I may have or may not have watch Cinderella this morning…)

It was a happy day when I was a vegan and found out that my favourite chocolate was too! Now, lets be clear, I’m a dark chocolate lover, like, the darker the better, BUT, since I plan on sharing these muffins (just like you were planning to, I’m sure…), I think its safer to go with something a little less intense for our friends with a little more sensative palet.

I generally use a chocolate bar rather than chips. I like to chopp them into chunks to accentuate the chocolaty-ness of the muffin. And it tends to be cheaper for some reason. Also, they are great to snack on. Just saying.

After you’ve mixed in the chocolate chunks with the batter scoop it into your muffin linners about 2/3 of the way full. Pop it inthe oven and set a timer for 15 min. (Alternatively, you can put it in a loaf pan and bake it for 40-45 min.) Poke a muffin with a tooth pick too see if its ready! If it comes out clean then it is ready! Keep in mind if you poke a chocolate chunk, it will come out very wet, so it might be good to poke a couple spots.

Now let cool completely in the pan before eating… who are we kidding? Definitely not going to wait that long! (Although if you’re doing the loaf version I do recommened it.)

Enjoy! And have fun blessing someones day with a lil’ treat. You never know how much they may need it.

So, lets break it down.

Vegan Chocolate Chip Banana Bread Muffins

Serves:12-15 muffins

Ingredients:
⁃ 1 1/4 c (150g) flour
⁃ 1/2 c (50g) cocao powder
⁃ 1 tsp baking soda
⁃ 1/2 tsp baking powder
⁃ 1/2 tsp salt
⁃ 1 c soft brown sugar
⁃ 1/3 c (65g) solid coconut oil (melt before use)
⁃ 2 big ripe bananas or 3 small ones
⁃ 1 tsp vanilla
⁃ 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
⁃ 3/8 c (100ml) water
⁃ 1 cup of chocolate chips (or one big bar)

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 176’C or 350’F
2. Mix dry ingredients:flour, cocao powder baking soda, baking powder, and salt.
3. Mix wet ingredients in a sepetate bowl:sugar, melted oil, mashed bananas, vanilla, vinegar and water.
4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry. 
5. Stir in chocolate chip or chunks.
6. Pour batter into muffin liners (or loaf pan).
7. Bake muffins for 15-20 min (or loaf 40-45 min).
8. Let cool in the pan.
9. Eat and share. ❤️

Monday

Excerpt from a journal in January 2020.

Ahhh… Its finally Monday. That probably sounds funny to most of the world right now. For most people Monday is the beginning of another five-day stretch of work or school, but for me, its my day off, and thank God it is; it’s been a long week.
Today, I decided to switch all of my devices to airplane mode and not plan anything! Not an easy thing for me generally, but recently I feel as though I’ve been craving some sort of silence; a need to just be still. So far it feels great!
Im sitting here, in Kiosk No1, sipping on a cup of Ethiopian black coffee, watching the busy world go by outside. But this morning I feel so detached from it all. The stark contrast of the busy street and the quiet cubicle of a coffee shop, makes the peacefulness of God’s presence seem all the more tangible.

Thinking about the past weeks makes me feel as though I haven’t stopped since Christmas. Between traveling, Nutcracker season, guests, etc, I just haven’t had a moment to stop or at least fall back into a normal rhythm yet.
Yesterday we had two performances of Nutcracker. I was dreading it from the moment I woke up- which is very much not the norm for me. But in God’s sweet kindness, I had so many encouragements through the whole day! It was almost comical. All of my friends decided to be extra amazing all at the same time, haha. For example, When I arrived at work that morning, there was a cappuccino with oat-milk waiting for me on my desk from one friend, and right next to it was a slice of banana bread from another. That is quite an amazing way to start the day, if you ask me. I was so touched by these seemingly random acts of kindness from these sweet girls.
That was followed by a really great class, which at the end of an exhausting week, I would almost count as a miracle, haha. However, to my own credit unfortunately, I didnt pace myself or cool down properly, which meant that when I sat down to do hair and make up for the performance for that morning, my muscle cool down way too fast and turn into lead. When I stood up, I thought to myself, “oh great…”.
Needless to say, that show wasn’t particularly amazing. It wasn’t horrible, but it was enough to bring my mood pretty down. Its crazy how one little mistake can make you feel like such a failure, inadequate, or not worthy of your place. After the show, our boss came back stage and told the girls to really fight for our turns. I knew he was talking to me.
So, back in the changing room I rested for a bit and to try to muster up some more strength before the next performance. As I sat and ate lunch I got messages from two friends of mine whom I hadn’t talked to in quite awhile. They were both “randomly” checking in on me to see how I was doing. The kindness in those messages was just what my heart needed to hear. They couldn’t have been more encouraging or more timely.
After I finished lunch, I decided to run a couple errands, as I had a bit of time before our next show. While I was out, I developed a little sweet tooth So, I popped my head into one of my favorite cafes, and not only did they have cookies on sale, but they had my favorite peanut butter cookie, which I had been craving, on sale! Haha… of course they did.

Finally, back at work, that evening I had an amazing second show! I killed those turns and danced with so much joy, energy and strength!

“It turned out to be such a beautiful day”, I thought sipping the last of my coffee back in my cozy cafe. In the midst of exhaustion, in the midst of life’s little discouragements, God saw me, and filled my day with so many sweet blessings. Some might write it off to coincidence, but I believe God wants to be apart of our everyday lives. He sees and loves and is active in small moments and big.
As I continued to sit and read my Bible I was reminded of a verse in the gospel of Luke. It says,
“But Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart.” – Luke 2:19. This was written after all the events that followed Jesus birth.
The events in my life are not on the same scale of grandeur or impactfulness as the birth of Jesus, but I think there is an art to reflection, to rememberance, and to acknowledgement. Its part of building our lives. Each recognition of God’s goodness, each reflection on His faithfulness moves me to build my life more confidently on Him, to lay one more stone on this house I call my life. As I take a step back and remember these beautiful moments it encourages me to push on, to move forward into each day, even the hard ones. You know, cement doesn’t look like much, but it certainly can hold together all the bricks that build our life. Some days are exciting, some days are for laying the cement for those awesome days, but each part of the building project is important. And some days are rest days, where you take a few steps back, you stop, you look at all you’ve built, you remember why you’re doing it in the first place. I think I need to do this more often…
I’m going to try to make my days off more intentional; dedicate more time to this art of “treasuring and pondering things in my heart” and more dedicated to knowing God. Time spent with God is never a waste as long as its followed by action, with life.
So, I’m excited to grow, expecting to fail along the way, but through all of it live in the grace that I’m a work-in-progress that is seen and loved by a beautiful, powerful God.